The summer holiday has finally arrived. I touched down on homesoil at approximately 9:48.45 A.M. Exiting the enclosed airport, I immediately picked up the array of beautiful aromas in the air which to me are synonymous to home. The light tinge of oil ladened nasi katok, the rich smell of the Gadong fish market, the overpowering scent of kapur barus. I was taken aback by this shot to my senses. Hello Brunei.
2 months of bliss are to follow. Exam results are out in a month though. Just thinking about it already send pee streams trickling down my legs, so it will be a nervous lead up to exam result day. These AS results will be my free pass to securing a spot in a good university in addition to.........
My personal statement.
The school demands a first draft of my personal statement in the first week of returning to school. This gives me just over 2 months to produce a stellar article boasting about how wonderful, amazing and perfect I am, and why I am interested in the course I am wanting to take up. 500 words in 5 paragraphs. It's not a great amount, but still a daunting task.
How not to write personal statements. For the following cases, I will use geology as the course of choice.
1) as a poemy poklen rhyme
Yo, admissions tutor, what you think you looking at It's my personal statement ya'll, it's goin' to be rad I'm cool, I work hard, what more do you want I'm sure I'm the only one you really need to hunt
I love all types of rock, hard, soft, big or small I even love the sight and smells of just a plain brick wall So don't you even think yo of throwing me into the bin Cause not accepting me to Oxford will be the very biggest sin
2) Overly confidently
I'll sum this up in just 6 words. I am perfect so choose me.
3) By Lying
I was given birth to by a rock godess. I looked up at her bright ortoclase eyes and immediately cried out 'metamorphic rocks' Those were my first ever words. Ever since, my dream was to travel the world and gain knowledge of all the rocks of the world. At the age of 3, I scaled up Everest, and gained sample of the granite on the peak. It was a newly discovered rock, and I named it after my good friend 'Clay' as he died on the same expedition with me. He was only 21. After that discovery of IanChanZhaoXiangDiscoveredThisRockclay, I went on to rewrite several famous books including 'Britannica Encyclopedia' and 'Harry Potter, The Chamber of Secrets.'
I blooooooooooged at 2:39 PM :)
Monday, June 15, 2009
Ahhhhh gooood morning readers. It's the morning of my statistics exam. I attempted to sleep at 10 last night, but failed to go to sleep till around 11 30. I lay on my bed, rolling around like a pig with constipation. It was the hottest day of the year yesterday, and going topless, opening the window, and covering my body in a wet cloth didn't help one bit. I then awoke at 5 00 in the morning not due to the heat, but due to my near exploding bladder. I rushed off to the toilet, and when I came back from my 3 minute pee, lost my will to sleep.
Basically, my plan to get 8 hours of sleep before my last exam failed miserably, and I only managed to squeeze in 5 and a half hours.
I'm superdiduperly excited for my exam, like a little kid in a candy shop, or a perverted paedophile in a primary school. After the exam today, I will waltz over to Najmi's place, steal his 1 terrabyte harddrive, and squeeze all its contents into my 200GB ancient harddrive. I'll spend the night 'hermitfied' in my room, watching Najmi's favourite dangdut videos and Indonesian dramas.
Life has been busy for the past 2 months, and after this final paper today, things will be very different. I won't have to wake up in the mornings to attempt mechanics past year papers, or crunch in outrageously useless facts on farming in Cherwell for geography. I'll have roughly 2 and a halfmonths of holidays, and will be spending the last 2 months back home in Brunei. Food, friends, family, guitar hero. I just can't wait.
The STLTTBBIDABE Campaign starts today.(Save The Light Trickles Through Blog Before It Dies And Becomes Extinct) Start tagging people!
I blooooooooooged at 3:15 PM :)
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
This blog is on the brink of extinction. But unlike the poor dodo birds who were killed to make funky hats and delicious curries, this blog is going to be saved.
The lack of updates are mainly due to my great work ethics. I won't be going over the details of the epic wars against the examinations, but I'm hoping for the best. 3 exams left, 2 on Thursday and 1 on Monday. After that, I'm probably going to catch up on 3 weeks worth of sleep in 1 session, and when I wake up, I'm going to catch my flight back to the homeland, tanahairku, the abode of Peace.
I've become a digestive addict recently. But not those normal bland digestive biscuits people on strict non-fatty diets munch on. These digestives are coated in chocolate, and the lonely bits of wheat always enjoy the company of a bar of Crunchie chocolate on the way down the fun chute to hell.
Well, a very short update. Will blog more after the exams. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
I blooooooooooged at 12:54 AM :)
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
This moment could make or break me. I know it's going to make me. Confidence is the key to ace-ing the exams tomorrow.
My geography exam starts promptly at 2 tomorrow, and I will be sitting back to back papers. A good solid 3 hours. I estimated that I will have only a minute and a quarter for each mark in the paper, so minus all the thinking time, time wasted blinking and scratching, pen twirling, question reading, page flipping, I'll only have a minute's worth of time to write out one mark worth of answers. I formed strategies to beat the paper.
1) Get a good head start. From the moment go, baymmmmmm, eyes fixated on the question. 2) Take only 2ml sips of water at a time, once every 15 minutes. The worst thing is to have a big pressure build up in your bladder. 3) Egest early in the morning. Same as no. 2, but pressure focused in your rectum. 4) Write out a plan for the essay. You may think, 'Pakk youu. Buduh juaaa. Waste time saja' Butttttttt nooooooooooooooo. 3 minutes of planning, get your points in order, structure of the answer right, and BAYM BAYM BAYM, 1000 words in 25 minutes. Pakkk you instead you doubter. 5) Have a high fibre nutritous meal in the morning consisting of chips, burgers and coke. With a bite of a carrot stick every now and again. 6) Have good night's worth of sleep. 15 hours should suffice. 7) Pray. I'm agnostic though.
Wish me luck people.
I blooooooooooged at 4:35 AM :)
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
I'm supposed to be revising for my mock exam tomorrow, but instead, I'm busily swatting the hundreds of bugs in my room.
Bugs and exams. The two downfalls of summer.
I blooooooooooged at 1:39 AM :)
Monday, April 13, 2009
A medley of Michelle Branch and Jason Mraz. That is not my mum, that is my sister.
1) All you wanted - Michelle Branch 2) Goodbye to you -Michelle Branch 3) Lucky -Jason Mraz 4) You and I both -Jason Mraz
I blooooooooooged at 12:38 PM :)
Friday, April 10, 2009
I'm still feeling the ill effects of jetlag.
I travelled from Manggis to Berakas yesterday, over 0.1 time zones, and my body clock has still not adjusted to the crazy time difference. Apart from insomnia, jet lag has been the cause of my bowel movement impairment. No wastes have exited this suci clean body for 24 hours, yesterday's hamburger still lies compacted in my large intestine.
Jet lag does things to your body. I recently sprouted a tail. The tail is quite furry. I kind of like it. Everytime I pull the tail, my ears wiggle. It's quite amusing. However, the amusement was short lived, when my tail got caught in the doorway. I tugged it so hard my ears flew off. It was quite difficult to hear after that.
Constipation, insomnia, and a new tail aren't the only effects of jet lag. The last trip, I ended up growing another butt cheek. Thinking it was a tumor, I went to JPMCC to get it removed. The doctors were stunned when I started pooping through two holes.
It's really amazing what jetlag can do to you. Sometimes, it causes a temporary IQ boost. That is why I usually have a nice road trip around Borneo Island before an exam. I round the Island 20 times, so I travel through 10 time zones, thus boosting my already super high IQ of 169 to 1690. This is how I passed IRK in form 3 0=) NAJIS NAJIS ISTINJA TAYAMMUM.
Some side effects of jetlag are ridiculous though. A few years back, after saving 2020 people from poverty in Africa, I decided to save some polar bears from the breaking iceshelf in the North Pole. Reaching the cold continent, I realised that my nose was glowing.
Suddenly this fat guy in a sleigh came up to me. "Hey buddy. Want to guide my sliegh tonight?'
I decided to help this poor fellow out. He looked like Drew Carey, a bit older though. White facial hair plastering his fat cheeks. His sleigh was already attatched to angry looking deer thingies. They made a song for me too.
Anyways, jetlag can be such a bitch. I'm going to bed now.
